It is a fact that some married women always shut their husbands out s*xually. It starts little then it gets to that point they are completely not interested in having s*x.
You wonder why the woman you love and have always had s*x with at any time you wanted would suddenly stopped wanting you. It has even become a routine. Once it’s bed time, the lights are turned off and she faces the other side of the wall, she ignores or turns down every of your touches, and her excuses ranges from tiredness, feeling sleepy, menstrual cramps, waist pain, she’s not feeling well, not in the mood or an outright ‘leave me alone’. She goes to sleep until the next morning. These excuses continues for weeks, months and even years.
You have to know that your wife shutting you out s*xually didn’t just happen overnight, there was a build up until it got to where you are right now. She may have always complained in the past by her actions and inaction but you ignored or even didn’t understand her body language. So, you are at the point you either have s*x with her by force, cheat on her or let her just be.
Your woman sure have her real reasons for denying you s*x but because she is scared of bruising your ego with her truth, she sticks to her excuses of tiredness, waist pain, menstrual cramps etc. Her true reasons may include: her inability to enjoy s*x with you or even experience orgasm.
You have never given her a mind blowing sex. In fact, s*x with you is open and close, No fore play, no romance, no kissing, no cuddling or any form of creativity, you are just thrusting in and out, and overtime sex style became monotonous, a routine and she is bored out of her mind. For the fact that she’s scared of expressing herself s*xually, she kept massaging your ego with moaning sounds that makes you feel you are doing a good job. You also get comfortable believing she enjoys it your way, but in the real sense, she wishes you can even ask her how she likes it better.
Your state of hygiene could be another reason. Your hygiene has become so terrible that even your breath alone almost chokes life out of her and she has lost every form of sexual attraction towards you. You sometimes return from work and want sex straight away without even taking a shower or even freshening your breath.
She could also be indulging in self-s*x that she enjoys sex better stroking herself with her fingers, inserting objects like cucumber, vibrator etc and her excuse is she has never enjoyed s*x with you because of your last finger size.
You could also be too big for her and a rough rider, s*x becomes torturous, she’s going through pains while you are pounding away and all her pleas falling on deaf ears, she ends up internally bruised and torn around the edges of her v*gina.
She could be suffering from ‘vaginismus’, the condition where the vaginal muscles involuntarily or persistently contract when you attempt penetration. This contractions can make s*x very painful. Her pains could be psychological as well, may be due to a traumatic r*pe experience.
You are a ‘one minute man’, you turn on and off like an electric switch. You arouse her and before she even gets half way, you have cum (climaxed), leaving her unsatisfied, while you dose off or go to the bathroom to clean up.
It is also possible she could be cheating on you with someone else; or she has lost every form of libido due to some emotional hurts as a result of your cheating or abuse and she shuts down s*xually.
Some women sank themselves into religion to a point they see sex with their partner as a sin. They take solace in praying and fasting, numbing their bodies and minds against s*x.These set of women also use age as excuse, the older, the more s*xually distanced they become. And so much more
Dear men, Be romantic, pay her attention, take her out on a date even if it is to eat just a plate of pepper soup and a bottle of drink, support her dreams, listen to her, take long evening or morning walks together. Be the man she fell in love with again and she will be the girl that made your heart race.
Even if your househelp is around, it’s not a bad idea to roll up your sleeves and get into the kitchen with your wife. Help just a little or just chat her up, look at her in a very suggestive manner, You will be amazed at how happy and eager your woman will share her body when she knows you are there to share all the big and small parts of her life.
Don’t ever stop flirting with your wife. Tell her how beautiful she is and how much you appreciate her. Encourage her to shed weight by volunteering to walk out with her. Send her text messages, massage her feet. Have some sense of humour, it loosen her up, try to not be too rigid or sacarstic.
You have got to take care of yourself, clean up properly. Dont just leave the toilet door open when at it, wear deodorant, smell good, Don’t just take a shower and go straight to bed for s*x, brush your mouth properly, throw in a minty gum or TomTom sweet to keep you breath fresh.
If you take s*x enhancement drugs to help you last longer during sex, you may just try to tone it down a little, your woman sometimes needs a free and fair Erection to satisfy her, not the one that keeps firing her even after 30 minutes and you are yet to near orgasm.
If she resists your touch and s*xual advances consistantly by coming up with all kinds of flimpsy excuses, then it is time to talk. Communication is key to a healthy s*xual life. Have a hearty chat with your wife, ask her what you are not doing right and why she’s shutting you out. Such discussion should not be done immediately she turns you down or at bed time, it should be in the day time when eyes are 4, while looking intensely into her eyes, choose her favourite location or go on a picnic, make the atmosphere conducive, Ask her questions. Don’t be embarrassed. There is nothing to be ashamed of making your wife’s s*xual need a priority.
You are learning together and Practice makes perfect. To get good s*x you need to communicate better. See a gynecologist or a sex therapist if the pain persists
Come with an open mind should she drop a bombshell that has to do with your size, body odor or bad breath, play the fool, ask her to help guide you to do it better and you cannot do it properly if she won’t guide you.
Once she opens up to you on her reasons, please do not use it against her, let it help you make her a better and willing partner in the other room.
By: Amaka Nicholas for The Sun